Bit by a bug

I was driving along 35E and my phone rang. No problem. The phone number was one I didn't recognize and that always sparks my curiosity. The caller called me by name and acted like we were old friends. He proceeded to go on about how we knew each other in Utah 2 years ago, er uh, you weren't in Utah 2 years ago, I mean Texas. We met at a Fourth of July shindig and he was the Penzoil guy. This guy obviously didn't know me b/c I have a great memory. Strike one. He then identified himself as not actually knowing me but wanted to know what was going tonight for fun. I wasn't about to launch into how we were having a pool party and then giving out the Brassfield's address to a complete stranger so I asked his name. He told me and then completed the sentence, "I'm one of those bug guys here for the summer earning money to buy a ring." So I'm assuming he's about to be engaged or whatever, finally a bug guy that's NOT on the prowl. Then he continued the conversation, "Gotta save up for that ring for that special girl. What are you doing for eternity?" Strike two. Dumbfounded, I didn't know how to take the conversation. I knew he wasn't actually proposing, I'm not that giddy for the bug boys, but my mind was thinking about him and his ladybug, so it sounded to him like I was actually considering it. Nice try, like I said, Strike two. Then he really wanted to know about what was going on tonight and like a good rep, I proceeded to tell him. But everytime I gave him a part of my directions, he chit-chatted. He asked things like, How many miles is it from Denton Tap to Bethel School? (Seemingly innocent). So I told him. Then he wanted to know how many feet that was. Listen pal, I'm okay with fast math but not while I'm driving. He then figured it out for the next 2 minutes and 34 seconds and told me his final figures. Thanks, bug friend. We chatted a while longer and I finally got out all my directions. Luckily it's easy to get to their place or I would have died. Good thing I wasn't giving him directions to Chapel Hill. Disaster.
After our direction fiasco, for some reason he brought up kissing and wanted to know how long it had been. I was speechless. What was a girl to say? He said things like, Be honest. A while huh? (Not giving me time to answer, mind you). He then proceeded, It's okay. I'm shy around girls. (Coulda fooled me). He promised me he'd be there tonight and we could chat. Looking so forward to chattin' it up with my bug boy and his bells. Did I mention he was coming with bells on?

Strike three. I'm so out with those bug guys.